it’s not working anymore

this is growth. 

growth is uncomfortable. 

it can f-ing suck. 

it’s foggy and stormy.

my heart is a tumbleweed, rolling down a dusty, endless road. 

identity, in question. whose clothes are these? 

the normal activities that could calm my soul seem to be no longer serving me. 

i think this is okay because this is growth. 

it includes grief. 

and grief can feel endless. 

my beginners mind questions, believes i’m a fraud.

//

i’m not.

you’re not.

we are in growth. 

just wait until we bloom. 


little howls

the moon went big, went all out for her first appearance of the year. that’s her path, doesn’t mean it’s yours. 

it could be your time to be the lone wolf. that doesn’t mean lonely, to me it means doing more of the behind the scenes magic. it means checking in with where you’re at. it means going deep into your intentions, dreams, the things you’ve always wanted to have time to do. it’s a time for deep breaths, long stretches and more tea. 

if it’s not time for a full howl, where are your little howls? the small moments only for you to show yourself some gratitude? i’m thinking flowers on the kitchen table. scheduling a doctors or dentist appointment that you’ve been putting off to show yourself you got yourself. i’m thinking reading that book instead of the instagram scroll. bold lipstick on a sunday when you’re staying in. 

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take the next moment you find yourself alone, maybe it’s in the car. or the second you step into your apartment. it may have to be the bathroom and i get that. 

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when you’re in that space, that moment for yourself, take a deep breath in. let it go. take as many of those as you need to. 

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ask yourself: what can i celebrate this week that’s just for me and no one will ever have to know? if you’ve got an idea hold that in your heart for a moment. put your hands over your heart to keep that idea safe. breath deeply as you please. 

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what would it feel like after you complete your intention? would you feel lighter? would you feel warm? would you have butterflies in your stomach? whatever it is, wherever you feel it, let this be your guide. know this gift is coming and you’re going to make it happen. 

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now throw your head back and give a little howl! it can be silent but you better do this part. this is how you put your intention out into your universe. 

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the moon has showed you what it can look like, now it’s your turn to find your ritual, your moment. your little howl. 


when we practice little howls, we won’t be afraid when the time comes to go all out, full form, the most beautiful wolf song we have ever heard. 


maybe it’s not ready

am i forcing it? is this the right space, the right way for it to be seen? who is this for? what is this for? i’m not ready. i’m not ready to choose.


as we move into a new year, with little choice in the matter, why do things need to be brand new with a flip of the calendar page?


find your speed. find your intention. maybe that’s a word or a phrase. maybe a color, a feeling. maybe it’s more of an agreement. maybe a wish. maybe no one ever sees it. maybe no one ever knows. maybe it’s not ready because it doesn’t have to be ready. maybe you don’t need anything new because you were in the flow and on your path. 


maybe this is all okay. 


deep dive

no tricks of light; no smoke, no mirrors.

just you. your breath. any feeling you want to feel.

no need to label or classify these feelings. they are not good/bad/wrong/right. they are just feelings.

if you want to dive deeper into something you feel, do it. if you can say “so long” to anything that’s not necessary, do it. 

sometimes it feels like we need permission or a sign to let something go. if you need that today, here it is baby. 


all things illuminated

a full moon and a new season.

everything is illuminated for us, but not in a way that leaves us feeling vulnerable or out of control. 

this is time to take inventory. to remember what you’ve been building towards. to know that your roots are strong, they will make it through the colder nights.

give thanks if you can, but it’s okay if you’re not ready for that. use this time to sort out what feelings are yours and what you can let go of. no need to work anything out, no need to dig deeper. 

ground yourself, yes winter is coming but your soul is ready for deep, meaningful work. may you find life slowing down a bit. may you find time for a second cup of coffee, longer walks, deeper conversations. maybe listening to a full album without doing anything else.

cheers. 


oh, hello

hi there. 

for over a year now i’ve been writing scripts for meditations, reflection questions & other cool shit with my dear friend Rachel. (check her out, she’s magic.) 

it’s been a journey, and while i’m still figuring out how to best take care of myself and find gratitude for my darkness, this stuff is actually helping. i believe we’re here to help one another with that work so soon, i’ll be sharing my discoveries here in the hopes that it helps you on your journey. 

so stay tuned. stay curious. thanks for being here.

in the meantime, here’s a photo of my pup Esme.

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